Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Thinking Aesthetically: Ranking All 30 Teams’ Jersey Lineups (Part 1: 30 - 25)

Credit: Ron Chenoy - USA Today Sports
When you think of any given NHL team, what pops up in your head? What do you visualize?

Say that you’re a Toronto Maple Leafs fan. What do you think of first? What's happened recently? What has always been associated with your team?

Well, you've got an iconic jersey, a nearly-silent arena, a recently-departed star, better mangement... but what jumps out in that image? It ain't Kessel.

Home, away, and road jerseys are considered in this exercise, and are each worth 10 points towards each team's Design Score, out of thirty. If a team has no third jersey, then the home and road jerseys are both worth 15 points. Special, one-off jerseys are not considered.

All jersey design images come from sportslogos.net.

T30. Colorado Avalanche


Home: Yuck. This jersey is a mess when viewed on the ice. The terrible, garish piping messes with the design monumentally, detracting from a decent logo and good shoulder patches, and the murky purple-brown-red colour doesn't go well with the blue accents whatsoever. The font on the numbers is the best part of the jersey - the little offshoots from the number remind me of icicles.

Road: The Avalanche's away uniforms are an improvement over the home design - the white actually resembles snow! - but the black lettering on the back stands out as odd.





Alternate: The Avalanche do not currently have an alternate jersey. EDIT: Yes they do! While the logo seems oddly large for the uniform (and while it seems to resemble the Chicago Cubs logo), the white yoke is nice, and the blue is a moderately better colour for the team, although it's still way too dark. An improvement, yes, but enough to get them out of the bottom spot? Nope.

Score:

Home: 0.25/10
Away: 1/10
Alternate: 1.5/10
Overall: 3/30

T30. Buffalo Sabres

Home: Piping and stripes? You're just getting greedy, Buffalo. Pair those with a gratuitous use of grey and the horrible, terrible idea of putting the jersey number on the front of the uniform, and you've got a bad, bad design.





Away: The blue shoulder yoke on this jersey has always bothered me, because other than a couple of small stripes at the bottom and at the sides of the uniform, and on the lettering, there are no other instances of said colour apparent.

The piping and the over-abundance of numbers return.
Alternate: Yeah, yeah, I know that they technically don't wear these monstrosities anymore, but... you gotta do what you gotta do, right?

Jersey foul!

Score:

Home: 2/15
Away: 2/15
Jersey foul: -1
Overall: 3/30

T30. Anaheim Ducks

Home: Someone in the Ducks' marketing department clearly thought that it would be a good idea to make their existing jerseys even busier, and these uniforms were developed as a result.

I have no problem with calling them the worst full-time jerseys in the NHL.


Road: These jerseys are far better than their home counterparts, but let's get real, here - neither are excellent. Neither are even "merely decent".

Alternate: The Ducks do not currently have a confirmed alternate jersey.

Score:

Home: 0/15
Road: 3/15
Overall: 3/30

27. Vancouver Canucks

Home: They're blue and green. Way too blue and green. Someone get some white in there! WE CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!

Away: Ahh, that's better. Still, I'm pining for the blue-and-red days. Todd Bertuzzi and Brendan Morrison in those jerseys... am I a Flames fan? 

Alternate: Seriously, Vancouver - redesign these. The logo is bad, the colours are worse... you are in desperate need for a new look. The 'blue-and-green, Mats Sundin' look has worn out its welcome. Silver would suit the uniform so much better.

Score:

Home: 1/10
Away: 3/10
Alternate: 0.5/10
Overall: 4.5/30


26. Calgary Flames

Home: 2015-16 will be the ninth season for these overly-piped uniforms. The lack of coherent striping, the awful, misrepresenting shoulder patches, and the bizarre notes of black throughout the design (you ever seen black fire before?) make this jersey a mess, one that should be pitched away to a pack of wolves.



Road: These white jerseys contain less black, and are decidedly less awful, but they still contain the misleading shoulder patches and the aggressively-infuriating piping, to go with an almost unreadable font colour for the name on the back.



Alternate: Minus the dizzying wordmark logo, these jerseys are a masterpiece, from the New Jersey Devils-esque patterns and yoke to the beautiful shoulder patch to the nice, non-italicized lettering.

But that logo is a baseball design, man.

Score:

Home: 1/10
Away: 2/10
Alternate: 4/10
Overall: 7/30

25. Carolina Hurricanes

Home: Why would you choose that shade of red for a hockey jersey? It's way too bright, and it looks so off on the ice. When it looks like six candy canes are roaming around the ice, you haven't chosen a good colour.

The rest of the jersey is fine, except for the annoyingly-boring logo. The design is nice and simple, and the lack of a patch is refreshing.

Away: One of the best jerseys in the NHL. White and this shade of pinky-red go really well together, and this jersey does a nice job, of showing that, Car-oh.






Alternate: The logo is decent, I guess. Everything else about the jersey isn't.

There's a patch, which is the main logo (which I don't like), done in grayscale. Ding!
There is an overload of black on the jersey. Ding!
The pattern at the bottom is incredibly complex and too busy. Ding!
There is an overload of grey on the uniform. Ding!

Score: 

Home: 1/10 
Away: 8/10
Alternate: Nope/10
Overall: 9/30



Positions 24 - 19 will be revealed tomorrow.

2 comments:

  1. I think it's time to retire the Black C. Make the 2009-2013 alternates the home jersey. I do not understand why they decided to get rid of those alternates. Easily the nicest Flames jersey ever.

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