Thursday, September 24, 2015

Thinking Aesthetically: Ranking All 30 Teams' Jersey Lineups (Part 3: 18 - 16)

Credit: Charles LeClaire - USA Today Sports
This is where it can start to get good. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Thinking Aesthetically! Today, I'll be ranking the teams with the 18th-best to the 13th-best jerseys in the NHL, starting with:

18. Columbus Blue Jackets 

Home: This jersey is so unremarkable. It's navy blue, a colour seen incredibly often in the NHL. There's no horrible piping, but there isn't really any creative striping, either. The logo is decent, nothing exceptional. The font is relatively conservative. What's to hate? What's to love?

Road: Some road uniforms really work, and some really don't. This one falls into the latter category. The white is so strong against the more muted tones of the logo, and it doesn't really fit when put up against the deep blue of the home jersey. 

Alternate: On the other hand, this jersey is fantastic. The only good jersey design from the NHL's ill-fated "powder-blue movement", the Jackets' design succeeded where Pittsburgh and Florida failed by including a slick colour in light beige, and by designing a spectacular logo. The block-lettering on the back helps, and the stripe at the bottom is beautiful.

Near-perfect from Columbus.


Home: 5/10
Road: 3/10
Alternate: 9/10
Overall: 17/30

17. Washington Capitals

Home: I probably like this jersey more than I should. It's simple, I don't hate the logo, and the font is dynamic and striking. But the random strips of white under the arms seem so off to me, and it's red, which is far too overused in the league (however, they've used it for so long that it could qualify as too classic to change). Seriously, six teams, at most, should use red: Calgary, Chicago, Detroit, Montreal, Washington, and New Jersey. They've used it the longest, and it makes at least some sense for each of them. Flames are red, the Blackhawks and Canadiens have always worn red, the Detroit Red Wings, the Devil is commonly depicted as red, and... the American Flag is red, white, and blue? Is that a good-enough reason?

Why not make the jersey a deep blue with red accents? That might look cool.

That was a long tangent. Let's continue.

Road: I like these a bit more than their home counterparts because they don't have that weird white underarm stripe. Otherwise, all of the same arguments from above apply here (except for the red, because what option other than white do the Capitals have in this situation?).

Alternate: Oh, these are classic. Whenever I think of the Capitals, I think of Rod Langway, Peter Bondra, Michal Pivonka, and Don Beaupre. The red, white, and blue are so perfect together, and the stars are a great touch. The modernized version of these feels so corporate and cold, while these are a nice hug and a cup of hot chocolate to look at.

These are one of under ten jerseys on my entire list to garner a perfect 10 rating. You'll see another soon.


Home: 4/10
Away: 4.5/10
Alternate: 10/10
Overall: 18.5/30

16. Pittsburgh Penguins

Home: I don't have much to say about these first two jerseys, because I'm saving my energy for typing 600 words about the alternates. However, I will say that these jerseys introduced the world to Vegas Gold, and the world has not benefited from that reveal. This uniform also seems to have a bad case of "Senator-itis": that is, random splotches of colour down the side of the jersey.

The crest is classic, though, and it gets bonus points for no horrible striping or piping. Like Columbus' design, it's very average.

I lied about not writing much about these jerseys, which rank lower than the "Robo-Gradient Penguin" and the "New York Rangers knockoff Non-Penguin" in my dedicated Pittsburgh Penguins jersey rankings, at the 541 spot.

Road: Next time you go to Consol Energy Center to buy a jersey, just ask the sales associate at the  team store for "those things that Crosby wear that make your arms look like they've burst out in giant Vegas Gold and black-coloured pimples", and they'll hand you one of these, and a pocket schedule.

Alternate: I love the Boston Bruins' jerseys. They're so simple and elegant, and their colour combo of black and a riveting yellow makes them impossible to take your eyes away from.

Vegas Gold is such a bland colour. This yellow is certainly not. Mario Lemieux, Jaromir Jagr, Ron Francis, Paul Coffey, Kevin Stevens, Tom Barrasso, and countless other Penguin greats wore these jerseys, which (in my opinion) are the finest in all of professional sports.


Home: 4/10
Road: 3/10
Alternate: 12/10
Overall: 19/30

I will be writing about rankings 15 - 13 tomorrow, 12 - 11 the day after that, and then one a day until I finish these rankings on the scheduled ending date of October 3, 2015.

Keep checking back until then!

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